I’ve been working since I was 15. I’ve had my fair share of job titles, and that is exactly what every title was to me, a job! It wasn’t until I graduated college and landed my first “big girl job” that I went from having a job to having a career! For some reason, the thought of this, on top of being in a new environment seemed to overwhelm me to the point that I was often paralyzed by self-doubt.
I guess my inner-conflict was evident, because one day out of NO WHERE someone at work blatantly said to me, “You’re insecure.” On top of that, I was told this in front of a group of people! To say that I was embarrassed and bothered would be an understatement. It took everything in me to not burst into tears.
That night I went home and vented to my boyfriend about what happened, and I reflected.
I thought about how it would be easy to feel resentful towards my co-worker and to question why would anyone be OK with voicing such a thing, but if anything I took responsibility for allowing myself to be seen that way.
“This isn’t me!”
I thought about how my negative outlook wasn’t triggered by a moment or even a certain person, but simply the mere effect that one bad sentiment or moment of self-doubt can cause when you let it snowball into such.
I concluded that all my issues came from the fear of the following:
- Not knowing how I fit in in my new environment
- Not wanting people to think I was too silly, as my personality can be quite out there
- Not wanting to drop the ball
- Not knowing all the things, when I was used to feeling in control
After pin pointing my fears, I was able to actively work towards a new mentality! I decided that instead of allowing myself to be guided by my old thoughts, I would shift my mindset into a new one:
- I will find my path with time
- My personality and work ethic are my trademarks
- I am proud of my contributions and will strive to do my best
- I am here to learn, and I will never stop learning
I am so grateful for that moment that I was called insecure. Because of that moment, I was motivated to make a change and take control!
Recently, I’ve felt a lot more confident when it comes to my work and MYSELF. I’ve been able to ask more questions and have been OK with the possibility of making a mistake, thus being more open to challenges and risks. I’ve also allowed myself to let my personality finally shine through, which has been my favorite part cus y’all know I LOVE to crack a corny joke LOL.
Have you ever felt similar? Please share!
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