Happy belated 4th of July! Yesterday actually marked eight months of Allen and I living together! The time has passed by quickly, as its been a lot of fun! Many things have changed, so today I will share some of what those things are, as well as tips/insights from me to you for moving in with your boyfriend (or significant other)!
Before my boyfriend (Allen) and I moved in together, I was spending the night at his place like four times a week, so moving in was pretty easy for us. It’s a lot of fun to always have someone to come home to. The simple things like eating at home, watching a movie, or going to the market are a lot more enjoyable when you are doing them with someone you love.
We’ve become more attached since moving in together, for sure! When we first started dating we would go days without seeing each other due to work and school, and it was fine. Now we are up each other’s butts. He always calls me after work to talk about his day, even though his drive is only 15 minutes! I thought this would be overwhelming, but its not! It’s pretty crazy, because now I can’t really fall asleep until he is home! Needless to say, I love the bond we have created.
I read on a forum a girl suggesting to “not try to be the perfect girlfriend at the beginning by cooking and cleaning everything on your own because your boyfriend will get used to it” and YOU WILL BE DOOMED.
I made this mistake!
Me doing all the cleaning got tedious, real quick, and I had to crank the amino! I told my boyfriend that he would help me clean, or I would start to charge his ass (to pay for a cleaning person)! Time is money, and I ain’t got time to waste!!!
This helped (sometimes), but things didn’t really improve until after I decided to give him designated tasks i.e trash and restroom duties. Also, we make Tuesdays our cleaning nights. We clean up together so it seems “fun”. Plus, having a clean home is fun. 🙂
However, I would be lying if I said this is not the main reason that we get into arguments at times. Also, I am no angel, and my clothes hoarding can really get annoying, because they are EVERYWHERE. We are trying to get better… lol.
As far as cooking, neither one of us grew up cooking so we both are still adapting. I now cook and he “prepares”. I always have him come into the kitchen to either clean dishes while I get the food ready, cut the meat, etc.
Lastly, what really drives me nuts is that he likes to eat junky food. You guys know that my weight is a difficult thing for me to deal with. I am disciplined at not buying or seeking junk but once its there, it is so hard for me to say no. Especially if I am too lazy/tired to cook. As of late, I’ve stopped allowing him to buy junk food and have tried to introduce healthier snacks.
Not to be explicit, but I used to hold in my toots and poops for HOURS at a time, because I didn’t want Allen to know that girls (aka me) poop! I would leave his house with the worst stomachaches from holding them in for so long HAHA. Now, well I can’t get away.
This might make our relationship appear less than “sexy” to some, but I like that I don’t have to hold them in for hours anymore hahaha.
I used to also be able to leave his place when I felt like blogging or just being alone to recharge! Again, now I can’t do that. Allen is also a solitary type of person. He used to not let me come over when he was sick, and now he can’t just kick me out!
To make this change easier, we have created our own “spaces”. We don’t have a huge place. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment, but we’ve made it work. We each have our side of the bedroom, closet and restroom! We respect our spaces. We also know that we have to tidy up our own crap! HA
Respect each other’s space and interests.
Like I said, we each have our own little nooks, and although we are together for hours and days on end, we often we will be in the same room doing two completely different things in our separate yet conjoined worlds… and we love it! This applies for going out sans each other as well! Just cus you live together, doesn’t mean you have to go out everywhere ensemble.
Make it a point to still go on dates and play on the romance!
Its easy to get caught up in sweat pants and boxers, chillen at home with no make up on. Continue to do the things that you thought were fun at the beginning of the relationship. For us its always been to go for dinners, hang out at the park, and me stunt on him so he knows I’m cute LOL.
Establish assigned responsibilities.
That could be around your home or even monetary. Who pays for what? Who cleans what? Etc.
If something bothers you, express it (nicely/constructively). Don’t try to pretend to be perfect and bottle things in. That will only create more tension, that later could turn out UGLY. This also applies towards the good things. Be appreciative of your partner even with the mundane.
Keep in mind that you both are human.
Remember how much you used to fight with your siblings and mom when you lived with them? And now you guys get along perfectly? It is inevitable and ok to not love everything about another person all of the time! We all have bad days. 🙂 Just pick your battles, and create systems when you can to ease the process that is living! lol
So there it issssssss, what its really been like for Allen and myself. We are very happy with our decision and are loving our new home together. What about you guys?
What do you recommend when it comes to living with your significant other?
Any interesting stories? Let me know! hehe
P.S Shout out to Allen who did not know we were having this shoot, and was forced into matching outfits with me. Also, LOL at the first pic where I look like a monkey on a tree, and the last where we were genuinely cracking up!