My Co-Worker hates Me and I hate her too

Hey babes!

Forever ago, I brought up starting a series “Talk of the Day with Zay” #TOTDWZ
You can email here or tweet me anything that you would like to talk about, and we can do so in a blog post!

Here goes our first reader write in! 😀 Let’s see if we can help.


“I am having a hard time with my sometimes rude and bossy co-worker. Most of the time we don’t get a please or thank you. And she can be pretty blunt at times. She can be pretty negative and things easily irritate her when to me, they can be solved easily. Why let something that little bother you so much that you express it out loud, constantly. We try to kill her with kindness but it’s so hard sometimes. I’m sure she doesn’t even realize it when she is being ugly but it’s hard to be comfy at a job where 1 person ruins your day, often.
She can be nice too, she’s not all bad but I think that bad can outshine the nice.
Do you have any tips?”


Oh man this one is tough, guys! LOL

My response:

First of all, I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with your co-worker.

Our work place and co-workers play a major role in our lives. Often we spend more time at work than we do at home, and we see our co-workers more than we see our own families!

When dealing with crappy attitudes I remember:

  1. We don’t know what others are going through.
  2. The only person I can control is myself.

With that being said, have you tried to discuss your discomfort with her in a non-confrontational way?

She might have problems in her personal life that she’s dragging into work.

Ask her to step aside and kindly express yourself. Maybe she doesn’t realize that she’s been ugly towards you guys. Go over particular scenarios, be specific, and give her a detailed and actionable plan for improvement.

For example, “The other day when I asked you to help me with XYZ, you responded “this way” and it made me feel “like this.” It would help if you would do “this instead.” If you feel flustered, know that I am here to help you. We are a team! Does that make sense? How can I help you?”

Another way to possibly improve the situation is to lead by example. If you see a problem that distresses her, solve it, and show her that its no big deal.

If neither of these two methods work, then sadly, that might be her natural personality.

Some people are just miserable souls (sorry to say it). There is nothing we can do to help them. We have to either learn to not let them affect us or distance ourselves which brings me to
Are you happy at your job?

This might be the cherry on top and the ulimtate sign that its time to switch jobs. I’m not implying to run away from confrontation or from people that you don’t fancy (they can be found anywhere), but maybe it is a SIGN that it’s time ta dip!

If you love your job, then the last resort is to post this in your break room.

LOL kidding. But if you do love your job, focus on the positive, and like I said, learn to not be affected.

Hope this helps!

What would you suggest, loves? Leave a comment below!!! I really want us to help.

Also, if you like this new series, please email or tweet me so we can keep #TOTDWZ going! I’m thinking once a week would be perfect.

The topic or question can be about ANYTHING! 🙂 The point is to figure it out TOGETHER!



6 thoughts on “My Co-Worker hates Me and I hate her too

  • Reply Vanessa Evelyn May 5, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    I’ve encountered this problem a lot. For the most party I act like it doesn’t affect me even when it does and I stay positive. When they are blatantly rude I do a stare down and pause before responding or reacting to make them more aware of their actions. I also blatantly ask if they’re okay when they’re nice one day and rude another.

    • Reply Zayda May 10, 2017 at 3:43 pm

      Yeah asking for it not to affect us is close to impossible but you do good by staying positive. Also, kudos to you for having the guts to make it a point to call out the nonsense in a classy manner 🙂

  • Reply Connie Gomez May 5, 2017 at 10:13 am

    ZAYDA!! You are wise beyond your years and your advice is spot on!!!!!! GREAT JOB!!! Loved this so much. As you mentioned this is tough and if you have tried it all and are no longer happy then the best thing is to move on. BUT, if this is what you live for then you will sadly have to be the bigger person and ignore her. Knowing that she is who she is. It’s frustrating and upsetting. I am saying this from CURRENT experience. BUT WE CAN DO THIS LADIES!

    • Reply Zayda May 5, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      Thank you so much, Connie! I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this but you dreams and goals are too big to deal with pettiness 😀 GO YOU!

  • Reply Thelma May 5, 2017 at 9:52 am

    Such great advice Z! Love this new series too.

    • Reply Zayda May 5, 2017 at 7:15 pm

      OMG thank you so much boo!!! makes me happy you stopped by!

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