Today I come to you with something that is not easy for me to express.
Its been a week or so that I feel envious during random and unpredictable times.
I hate this feeling.
Instead of being inspired or motivated by the women that I wish I could be more like, I’m just plain envious.
It’s a disgusting feeling and one I am embarrassed to admit.
I’m envious of beautiful women with successful careers. The ones doing all the things I wish I was. The ones with the creativity, diligence and ambition I wish I had, and frankly, it makes me sick to my stomach.
Luckily, I was listening to the Happier Podcast by Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft a few days ago. They have an episode dedicated to envy that helped me look at this horrible emotion from a different perspective.
“If you really confront envy, it can tell you something useful about yourself. Envy means somebody has something that you wish you had. And when you know that, then you can ask yourself, “Is there a way that I can have that thing too? That envy is shining a spotlight on something in MY life that I feel is missing.”
With my internship coming to an end, and me being lost not knowing what’s next, I can’t help but envy those women that seem to have it all figured out.
Identifying WHO you’re envious of can also say a lot about your character and what you believe you are capable of.
For example, I would never be jealous of Beyoncé because I just can’t be a Beyoncé. But if I’m jealous of a certain woman, it probably means that I deep down know that I am able to achieve that same level of success dressed in my personalized flair.
“Envy is an important clue. You can take it and turn into something positive.”
I challenge you.
Next time you feel envious, identify the emotion and evaluate the meaning. Build a plan for yourself. Embody hard work.
And when you least expect it, you will attain your own version of those yearning desires.
A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.
P.S. The podcast episode I am referring to is here. Quotes are Gretchen Rubin.